


I'd be lost without my blogger. ~Fic has been abandoned!~

by SweetDreams828



Series: I'd be lost without my blogger. [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Gen, M/M, graveyard
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-13
Updated: 2017-02-26
Packaged: 2017-12-23 09:50:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/924922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetDreams828/pseuds/SweetDreams828
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock comes back to hunt the last of Moriarty's henchman and keep an eye on John. John finds writing letters to Sherlock and leaving them at his grave helps him the most, until he gets the real thing back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. At the cemetery

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all again, this is my second fan fiction for Sherlock, and my first chaptered one. Please let me know what you think and give me notes on it.

Chapter 1: At the cemetery

John sat at the grave again, a stiff crick in his neck from where he fell asleep against it.

“Oh Sherlock. I miss you more than you know.”

Tears started to flow swiftly down his face, getting caught in the stubble of a day old beard.

“It has been over two years and John still showsd no signs of moving on. He rarely sleeps, only eats when it was required of him, and is very rarely social. He never spends any time with any of your old friends.”

“Shut up Mycroft. What are you doing here?”

“I come to visit my little brothers grave every once in a while. Mostly though I come to get John and take him home.”

“How often do you have to do this?” Sherlock glanced sideways at his brother, irritation obvious on his gaunt face.

“About three times a week.”

Judgment was strong in Mycroft’s voice. It made Sherlock want to punch him.

“Well what would you have me do? Let him die just for being my one and only friend?” Sherlock asked acidly. “You know I can’t let him know yet. You know just as well as I do that there are still two agents still out there that would kill him on sight if it became common knowledge that I was still alive.”

Mycroft let out a deep sigh. “Yes I know, you also know that my offer still stands. Around the clock protection for both of you. I promise that nothing will happen to either of you.”

“And you can guarantee with your life that nothing bad will happen? That nothing will happen to him?”

Sherlock looked to his brother, who hung his head.

“That’s what I thought. Your people haven’t found a thing yet have they?”

“Nothing that you don’t already know about. The woman has been following John around, she’s smart and quick, and it appears that we have a leak on my side of the fence. Every time we move to take her down she slips off at the last second. “

Sherlock smirked, “Of course there’s a leak on your side. I have three people who it might be but so far I have no solid evidence on which it is.”

Mycroft let out a deep sigh and eyed his brother, “Are you going to tell me who you think it is? Of course you’re not.”

“No. Not yet.”

“Are you going to go back to the flat?”

“Yes, I have to set up base and besides it’s our home.” Sadness crept into Sherlock’s voice, etching in with longing for the past.

“What about Mrs. Hudson?”

“I’m shocked Mycroft, you haven’t done your homework. She is in America, visiting friends. She will be gone for a month but I was able to work my connections to get a new lease on the place before she left. She thinks a Mr. Hamish Brooke is living there.”

Mycroft let out a Chuckle. “Named for the one you’re protecting and the one you’re protecting him from huh?”

Sherlock nodded.

“Well brother dear, as much as I love our little chats, it is time for our dear doctor to go home. I will see you very soon.”

Mycroft strode off out of the trees and to Sherlock’s grave. Sherlock could just hear the sound of a greeting being called out and John looking towards its source.

‘I’m going to have to thank him when this is all over’, thought Sherlock. ‘He’s done a fine job of keeping John alive at least.’

Sherlock watched as his brother walked to John, offering a handkerchief and a mug of coffee. John accepted both. A few words were said between the two before they turned and walked out of the cemetery together. Sherlock stood there for a few minutes just thinking of all the ways he could have hurt John worse. Nothing came to mind.

Pulling his cap down over his face and turning his jacket collar up to shield him from any prying eyes he walked over to his grave intent on feeling the residual warmth of John, but what he found was a small box.

Picking it up, Sherlock noted that it was heavy, for its small size. It was lock on the front of the box was insultingly easy to pick. Opening the box he found it stuffed full of letters, all hand written by John. There had to be hundreds of letters sitting in there.  The pain that pulled at Sherlock’s chest at the sight of them was almost unbearable.

He emptied the box and relocked it, depositing it back on the ground and pocketing the letters before striding out of the cemetery himself and going home to read his letters from John. 


	2. Chapter 2: The letters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock reads Johns letters and learns how did his damage goes.

Chapter 2: The letters

Dear Sherlock,  
It’s been three days since your death. Three days that feels like an eternity. I don’t think I will be able to continue on. I am so mad at you. Why, why would you leave me like this? Didn’t I mean anything to you? They found his body of course and I can only presume that he was the cause of all of this pain. I hate him, hate him for taking the easy way out, hate him for what you did. I hate you both. Please just do one thing for me; please just stop this, just stop being dead. Please for me.  
John 

Dear Sherlock,  
A month has passed now, Lestrade got me off the hook for punching the Chief Superintendent, and he is working every day to get your name cleared. Donavan and Anderson both apologized to me, apparently after reviewing the facts that they gathered from the little girl they figured out that you were innocent all along. That rotter of a journalist is now facing legal action for her role in the whole thing. I know I should be happy that things are starting to look up for your name, hell the fact that Donavan and Anderson even apologized should make my heart all warm and fuzzy, but all it does is make me angrier. The more that I think about the ways that this could have been prevented, the madder I get. I don’t want to be around these people who ruined everything. I don’t want to be around any of them. I don’t want to be.   
John

Dear Sherlock,   
They think I’ve gone mad. Lestrade showed up at my flat with a full medical team. They tried to put me in hospital. I managed to run before they caught me. I’m not mad. I’m not mad. I’m not mad. Sherlock where are you? Why are you hiding?  
John

Dear Sherlock,  
I owe your brother a debt of gratitude. He saved me from the hospital saved me from myself. He found me and put me up in an estate of his. I still need to apologize for attacking him, for the scar I left on him. I am so sorry Sherlock. I know you two didn’t get along but I don’t think that you would appreciate me attacking your brother. I honestly don’t know what was going on, why I did what I did. I am so sorry Sherlock. I’m sorry Mycroft. I don’t deserve either of you. I just want to let you know that I have decided to move on as best as I can. Mycroft talked to me and told me how much you must have cared for me. Thank you Sherlock, I deeply cared for you too and I always will, you will always be my best friend.   
John

Dear Sherlock,   
Lestrade won’t leave me alone. He keeps making me go to crime scenes and trying to do what you did. He says that I am the next best thing and that after all of those months I must have picked up something from you. I still don’t see everything but I think I see enough. Though the only thing that I want to see is you. Everywhere I look I see the absence of you. Every crime scene makes me think of what you would have done what you would have seen. I can feel the judgment at my slow grasp of the obvious I can hear you talking about what I am missing. And what I miss is you. Mycroft says that this is going to help me get over you and that eventually I will be able to move on. He won’t let me wallow in self-pity. He even made me go back to 221B. He was a little disappointed that I wouldn’t stay but I explained that the pain was too much. I will have to one day thank him for that.   
John

Letter after letter each describing Johns days filled out the rest of the pack. He seemed to get better over the next few months based on the letters, but something must have happened last summer. The letters started to get shorter and more pained. Sherlock clutched them to his chest as he sat in John’s chair in their old flat. Most of their old stuff had been removed but Mycroft had seen to it that some things made their way back to Sherlock that evening. Clutching his Union Jack pillow to his chest Sherlock continued clutching the pillow tighter as the letters got more and more worrisome.   
Dear Sherlock,   
I feel like my last few months have been a lie. Who am I kidding? I am not you. I will never be you and I will never be able to let it go. Everywhere I look I see you. You’re always in my peripheral vision. I want to see you for real I want to know where you have been, what Moriarty said to make you die.  
Please come back to me Sherlock.

Dear Sherlock,  
They want to put me back into the hospital. It took me forever to get away from them. I will have to write an apology to Greg, I’m sure that the broken nose I left him with hurts. I wonder if it will hurt to die. You see my Sherlock I’ve decided that I want to go to you. If I timed it right I should be able to put this letter in your box before I pass out and I should be with you before anyone else manages to figure out where I am. Please wait for me Sherlock.  
Love John

Sherlock crumpled the letter tight in his hand. How, how could John think that this was a good idea? How could he think that Sherlock would want him to kill himself? “Oh John. I am so sorry.” 

Dear Sherlock,  
It turns out that your brother is far cleaver than I gave him credit for, and far cleaver than Lestrade. He managed to find out exactly where I was before I had the chance to die. He saved my life again. He finally freed me from the hospital again. I am being forced to go to therapy each and every day. It’s irritating. I hate this. I just want you back. I want to hear you shooting the walls, playing your violin at three in the morning.   
I’m sorry Sherlock

Dear Sherlock,  
Mycroft has me on constant watch now. I am never alone anymore. It was comforting at first but now it’s a pain. I would rather be alone. They won’t let me think about you. Every time I start to think they interrupt me. They won’t let me think they won’t let me be. I want to be with you. I want to be with you forever. Please come back to me.  
Please Sherlock come rescue me.

Dear Sherlock,   
I’m finally allowed moments to myself. It’s nice to be able to see you again. Everywhere that I am alone, I see you. I see your face. No matter when I look. It makes me happy. That is until I am forced to be with people again. When I am with people your face goes away. I feel like I am cracking Sherlock. Please come back, I don’t think I can handle much more.  
Please Sherlock…

Dear Sherlock,  
You’re in everything that I see everything that I do. I was finally allowed to go home. I still feel watched all the time. Please let me know that you are still out there somewhere. Please tell me that you really are there when I see you. Please tell me that I am not mad, or if I am please let me just go completely mad and be done with it. Sherlock please help me. 

The last letter in the stack was the hardest. How did I ever think that he would be able to go on? Oh John I am so sorry. I never meant for this to happen, for you to lose yourself. I will make things better before I rejoin you though. I will find the worm and that woman. I will make you safe. But first I need to get these back to where they were before he notices that they are gone.


	3. Answers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock goes to the one person who could tell him what he needed to hear.

Chapter 3: Answers

 

Sherlock burst through the door, letting it slam into the wall.

“Honestly, there is no need for the violence little brother.”

“The hell there isn’t! Why? Why didn’t you tell me sooner how bad it was?!”

Mycroft took his time folding his newspaper letting Sherlock fume.

“Because brother dear, if I had told you, you would have rushed home and blown the whole operation. As much trouble as it was for you to disappear to begin with.”

“He tried to kill himself”, snarled Sherlock as he paced in front of the fireplace, “Why, why didn’t you tell me when I first got back.”

“I knew you would find out soon enough and I felt it would benefit you more to read it.”

Sherlock threw his brother a nasty glare.

“And just how would it benefit me more to read how much I had hurt and killed John myself?”

“Sit down Sherlock and I will answer your questions.”

Sherlock glared at his brother searching his face looking for any hint of falsehood. He found none and threw himself into the wingback next to the fire.

“What happened after I left?”

“He didn’t eat for five whole days and only slept when he was physically unable to stay awake. He wouldn’t speak to any of us. He couldn’t stand to be at 221B so his sister came and got him and took him home. According to her he just paced back and forth all day and night. Wouldn’t talk to anyone.”

Sherlock just stared into the fire, his thoughts running wild.

“He started to write you the letters. At first he kept them on him in a locked box but eventually as you saw he left them at your grave. Naturally I read them when I was around, but to my knowledge no one else did.”

“So that is how you kept track of him?”

“Of course. He was also placed on top watch security per your request.”

Sherlock heaved a deep sigh. “You know it was necessary.”

“I do.”

“So what happened to make Lestrade want to place him into a mental ward?”

“He thought you were everywhere he looked. He only saw you. He would only talk to you. Harry called Lestrade. She didn’t know what else to do.”

A smirk crossed Sherlock’s face, “So what did he do to you to leave a scar?”

Mycroft ran his fingers along his forearm, “He saw Lestrade out the window and freaked. He ran out the back door and just ran. He caught a tube back to London and went straight to your grave. I kept an eye on him from my cameras. I personally went to the cemetery to collect him. Unfortunately he thought I was there to take him in too and he just went primeval and jumped me. He scratched at anything and managed to claw my arm. One of my bodyguards got a sleeper hold on him.”

Sherlock laughed, imagining John attacking his pretentious brother.

“I took him to my estate in the country and let him stay. It took a full medical team over two months to evaluate him and get him back to normal.”

“You know he apologized. I find it funny. About time someone attacked you.”

Mycroft just glared at Sherlock.

“Such a loving brother.”

“So where did he go?”

“We found him a new flat that I paid for and Lestrade kept him constantly busy on cases. He fought with Lestrade constantly about being left alone but Lestrade put him together again. You have no idea how much you owe him.”

A moment of silence passed while Mycroft let it sink in.

“So what happened? What made him freak out again?”

“It was a case that went wrong. Lestrade was looking for a kidnapper and he couldn’t put the puzzle together so he went to John and they were trying to find the missing girl and the kidnapper. John miss stepped once and the kidnapper killed the little girl and himself. He couldn’t handle it. So he broke down again. He left the investigation and Lestrade tried to stop him and ended up getting his nose broken.”

Sherlock’s breathing hitched, he knew what was coming.

“Lestrade tried to find him on his own but he was lost. He called me and it took me ten minutes to find him. By the time that I found him he was at the cemetery taking a pill. I knew what it was and we went to get him. By the time that the ambulance got there he was unconscious and seizing up. We came so close to losing him.”

The air hung silent and thick with tension.

“I never should have left.”

Silence while both brother contemplated all that it implied.

“How long did he stay in the hospital before you freed him again?”

“A month and a half. He was released to my care under the condition of going to therapy every day and that he have a body guard with him. I gave the orders that every time it looked like he was thinking of you that he was to be distracted. Emerson was quite successful.”

“But you let him be alone again?”

“Yes, his psychiatrist determined that he was able to handle it in small doses. So we weaned him off of our constant support. He’s so damaged Sherlock. I honestly don’t think he is going to be able to handle it much longer. At this point I’m not even sure that your return would solve things.”

 Pain seared through Sherlock’s heart. He had truly messed up this time.

“Oh Dear John. I really messed things up. But I will make him safe, I will make him happy.”

Mycroft studied his brother fingers tented. “You are really in love him aren’t you?”

“You already know the answer.”

Mycroft looked at his brother with sad eyes. Pity rang strong in his gaze.

“Well Sherlock, I know how much this must hurt you. But I think its best that you disappear again.”

Sherlock jerked his head up, disbelief at what he heard showed strong on his face.

“You can’t be serious. He would die!”

“That’s what people do.”

Boiling hot anger flashed across Sherlock’s face. Not that line, not about him. A knife flashed out of Sherlock’s pocket thrown with superior aim, just missing his brothers’ face. Mycroft didn’t even flinch, just looked at his brother with pity.

“I’m sorry Sherlock.”

Sherlock jumped to his feet glaring at his brother, “I will fix him. I will fix everything.” Grabbing the knife out of the chair he strode out of the room.

Mycroft started to shake the moment that his brother was gone, “You’re going to be the death of the both of you my dear brother.”


	4. Chapter 4: Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally together again.

Chapter 4: Reunion

Sherlock stormed out of the building, went straight to Johns apartment and watched him through the window. It looked like he was writing another letter. He looked sad. Sherlock’s pocket buzzed a new text message.

  
Leave him alone or I will make you. - MH

  
Piss off; he is no longer your concern. -SH

  
I was entrusted to keep him alive. I will keep him alive even if I have to stop you. -MH

  
Piss off. -SH

  
Sherlock continued to watch as John wrote and wrote. His brow creased in frustration. He swore in anger and crumpled the letter up, throwing it into the waistbin and getting himself a drink of scotch. He downed it in one gulp, putting his glass down on the tiny kitchen table, and huffed off into the house.

He knew he shouldn't but he couldn't resist it, Sherlock went around the back of the house and peeked into the bedroom window in time to see John fall face first onto the bed. He watched for ten minutes until he was certain that he was asleep.

Don't go in. -MH

Piss off. -SH

Sherlock I mean it. -MH

Fuck you. -SH

Sherlock knew he had less than two minutes to break in before Mycrofts people would be there to remove him, if even that much time. He moved swiftly to the back door, trying the handle to find it locked.

"Damn, of all the times he could have locked the door."

Sherlock quickly pulled out his tools and had successfully picked the lock and entered the house before the first car pulled up near the place. He gave a wicked smile as he locked the door in his wake, knowing that Mycrofts goons wouldn't want to break in and alert John to Sherlocks presence. He was safe for the time being, so he pulled the curtains in the little kitchen shut as he flipped off the goons. A wide smile plastered on his face.

  
Damn it you little brat! If you let him know you’re alive or get him hurt for this I will personally kill you. The second that you leave that house you are going to be in my custody! -MH

Piss off Mycroft, or I will call Mummy, and remember that she still doesn't know that I am alive. Do you really want to deal with that? -SH

Sherlock let out a silent laugh at his brothers’ threat. Idiot, there was no way that he would ever go into his brothers custody. He reached into the bin and pulled out Johns letter, shocked to find that it was for Mycroft and not for him.

  
Mycroft,  
I saw him today. I know it was him. I just know it. Why are you lying to me? I can handle myself, i won’t let anything happen to me but you keeping him away from me is not helping. I know he was really there, i know it was him. I know i am not hallucinating. Why Mycroft? Why are you doing this? I have to see him. I have to.

Sherlocks chest tightened. 'That's my John. Much smarter than anyone gives him credit for.' He folded up the letter and pocketed it. Thinking long and hard about what he was about to do. Apparently Mycroft had missed a great deal out of their friend John.

It's time for you to come out little brother. -MH

Make me. -SH

Sherlock walked around the little house closing blinds on every window he could find, noticing that each one had an agent positioned outside of it, guns pointing at him, silently ordering him out. He just smiled wide at each one. When he made it to the bedroom the one and only window had four agents pointing guns at him. Each ordering him to come out silently. Sherlock reached above the window to draw the blackout curtains over their angry faces.

  
GET OUT NOW OR I WILL PERSONALLY COME IN AND GET YOU AND YOU WILL NOT LIKE IT. -MH

  
Sherlock just shook his head at his phone, walked into the living room and placed it on the coffee table, knowing that Mycroft had it bugged. He walked back into John's bedroom and closed the door. He knew he had just a few minutes before Mycroft would really be there. It was now or never, his last chance to interact with his best friend.

  
He leaned down and placed a hand gently over Johns mouth and shook his shoulder with the other hand, gently whispering, "John, its ok it's me. You were right."

  
John's eyes shot open, he arched back being pushed back by Sherlocks hand on his back. "John listen to me, I need you to be quiet or they will take me away quicker."

  
John looked Sherlock full in the face, searching, processing that the man he had pined after was standing in his room asking him to keep quiet or he would be gone again. He shook his head yes that he understood the situation. Sherlock smiled at his friend, a genuine smile of true happiness that he saw reflected back in Johns face.

  
"You're real. You're really real." John mumbled against Sherlocks hand.

"Yes John. I've missed you so much. I'm so sorry for hurting you." Tears streamed down both mens faces. John started to shake and it was too much for Sherlock, he pulled John to his chest and held him tight, John held onto Sherlock tighter and just cried.

"Why Sherlock, why did you have to leave?"

"Moriarty. He would have killed you and the others if I didn't die. I had to make sure that you were safe and alive. I am so sorry that I had to die. Please forgive me."

John squeezed him tighter, "I knew you would never leave me. I knew you were there."

"I'm so sorry John."

"It's alright! I forgive you as long as you promise to never leave me again."

Sherlock smiled into Johns hair, "If my brother has his way you will never see me again."

"NO! Then we'll run away! I am never going to let you leave again."

  
"Then you better be ready to explain that to him. He's going to be in here in less than two minutes to pry me away from you. He thinks that I’m a hazard to your health. I suppose that I am but all the same I can't stand to be away from you either."

John pulled Sherlock tighter to his chest, noticing for the first time how much skinner he had gotten, pushing him back he really looked into his face, noticing the shadows under his eyes, the sharper cheekbones.

"God you look a mess."

Sherlock couldn't contain it; he let out a deep belly laugh, which caused John to start laughing as well. "You don't look so good yourself."

They both sat at the edge of the bed laughing hysterically. Sherlock didn't even care anymore that the people outside would hear, that Mycroft was on his way to separate them. When they finally managed to stop laughing John looked at Sherlock with wonder, it really was him, really was his best friend.

"I feel like I should punch you, like I should be so angry with you but I just don't feel it."

"You will later John, and you can punch me later, after all I defiantly deserve it."

"Because you're an idiot." John looked at Sherlock, caught him grinning and they both dissolved into easy laughter again.

"I couldn't have said it better John. Sherlock will you two please stop howling like hyenas."

Mycrofts unexpected entrance and comment so mirrored the time at the palace that it set off the laughter again. Sherlock and John clutched at each other for support as they rocked with laughter. Mycroft glared at them.

"Will you please both act like grownups, you are both in mortal danger."

"Oh Mycroft, were always in mortal danger, but you can't take him away from me this time. I won't allow it. He stays with me or I will take you down this time." John looked straight at Mycrofts eyes, a burning heat that frankly scared the older man. John clutched Sherlock tighter to his side, glaring. Sherlock just grinned like the cat caught in the saucer at his brother.

"Fine. Stay together but know this you two will never be allowed without the other nor will you be without protection and I am whole heartedly against this." Mycroft sighed, a look of pure disgust thrown at his brother. "John i want to pre-apologize for whatever happens to you due to my idiot brother. Especially if it gets you killed."

"Don't worry about us Mycroft. We will be fine. I won’t let them get to him and besides brother dear were as you say going to be under your constant protection."

"Sherlock if John wouldn't kill me I would lock you away right now so your stupidity wouldn't cause anymore danger. As it is however my hands are tied."

"Thank you Mycroft. I have one more favor to ask of you. Will you please let us go home? Back to Baker st?"

Mycroft, opened his phone and punched in some keys snapping off a quick text. "You may both go back, but 221A and 221C will both be staffed by my men. If you leave the premises you are to alert them and take at least one of them with you. If you don't then I will assume that you are being coerced and you will be placed in a bunker in my private estate where you will be locked in. Do I make myself perfectly clear?"

Both men looked at him in utter disbelief but they both knew that no matter what they said Mycroft wouldn't bend a quick glance at one another and both came to the agreement that it was the best they were going to get in their situation.

"Fine, but absolutely no bugging of our actual apartment and I will be looking. If I find anything at all we will leave. Do we have a deal?"

Mycroft looked to both of them, a searching gaze before he held out his hand and shook with his brother. "Agreed."

Sherlock looked to John with a huge smile that was mirrored on the other mans face. Clutching at John's hand he pulled him from the edge of the bed; "Well my dear friend shall we go home?"

 


	5. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock and John go home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I bet you all thought I abandoned this! I actually did but inspiration hit!

Chapter 5: Home

  
John and Sherlock were pushed out of the house and into the back of Mycrofts awaiting car. Mycroft joined them, glaring at them both. Disapproval hung heavy in the air.

“We are going to your flat but you will not be allowed in until the sweep is confirmed clean.”

“Thank you Mycroft.”

“I must tell you that I am not pleased with this John.”

“I will be fine. I am a big boy Mycroft. And having Sherlock with me will help.”

Sherlock smirked at his brother, Mycroft returned his smirk with a glare. 

“Idiot.” Whispered Mycroft, pulling out his phone and texting away. John kept his eyes on Sherlock, refusing to look away.

“I’m not going anywhere John. You’re stuck with me now.”

“You poor man.”

“Mycroft.” Snapped Sherlock.

“It’s alright Mycroft. This is what I want.” John wrapped an arm protectively around Sherlocks boney shoulders, “Besides your brother is waisting away he needs a doctors care.”

“Exactly Mycroft and you don’t want to argue with my doctor, now do you?”

Mycroft sighed, “Either way you are to behave yourselves. Sherlock I will do my best to not impede your investigation but you will be protected.”

Sherlock just reclined further into Johns arm, suddenly feeling exhausted.

“And if you don’t sleep I will make sure you go to sleep.”

“Fine Mycroft. Fine. But just know that I have the power to call an end to all your conditions if I feel that it is impeding my work.”

“John, are you ok with this arrangement?”

John looked down to Sherlock curled into his side and knew that he wouldn’t get a better offer. “Yes Mycroft. On one condition. Sherlock has to let Lestrade know that he is still alive.”

Both men considered it before nodding in agreement. 

“Just make sure brother dear that you duck. I don’t need you going to the hospital when he punches you.”

“He wont lay a finger on me.”

“That’s good to hear since where here.”

Sherlock and John looked out to their home, John smiled wide. “Welcome home Sherlock.”

One of their new security officers opened the back door for them, “Mr. Holmes, Dr. Watson, welcome home. The place is clean.”

John gave the security guard a look of recognition, “Hello Emerson! How have you been?”

“Wonderful Dr. Watson. If you would please come with me.”

John slid out of the car, but before Sherlock could make it out, Mycroft held Sherlock back. “John I would like one moment with my brother. Don’t worry the car will not move a single inch.”  
John shot a look of panic at Sherlock questioning if he should argue, but Sherlock just turned to face his brother. “Don’t worry John I will be right there.”

John stood up and walked with Emerson to the door but refused to go inside. Sherlock closed the car door, and turned to his brother.

“What is it Mycroft?”

“I was just wondering if you really do understand how much danger you have put him in now.”

“Mycroft he would have died anyway. I need him and he needs me!”

“How do you know?! You always think that you know what is best for everyone but you don’t Sherlock!”

“And you don’t know anything about him either! He knew you were hurting him by keeping us apart!”

“How would you know?”

Sherlock pulled the letter John had written and threw it to his brother, a look of triumph on his face. Mycroft read through the letter, the colour drained from his face. “I didn’t know.”

“It’s alright Mycroft. I may hate you at times but I trust that you will keep us safe.”

“I will do my best brother.”

Sherlock nodded and slid out of the car.

“Everything alright Sherlock?” called out John, a look of concern on his face.

“Yes. It’s all good. Lets go home.”

They were escorted in by Emerson and a female partner. “We’ll be in 221A if you need anything sir’s. two more agents will be posted in 221C tomorrow morning when Mycroft selects them.”

“Thank you Emmerson, I think we will be fine tonight.”

Sherlock smiled as he took Johns hand and led him up the flight of stairs to their flat. Once in he locked the door, and promptly pushed John against it fingers tugging into his short hair, eyes searching. 

"I've missed you John. I'm so sorry I lied."

John smiled bright, "You're never leaving my side again."

Sherlock leaned down, his lips pressing gently to John's, a soft gental kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Expect smut in the next chapter, but not good smut since it will be my first time writing it!


	6. Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock and John's first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I can't really write smut it seems. Though I will keep trying to get it right!

Chapter 6: Love

John's skin flushed with the heat of his blood rushing. How many times had he wanted to kiss Sherlock? His brilliant mad detective? And now his lips were sealed tight with Sherlock’s surprisingly soft ones. A low moan escaped his throat and Sherlock grinned.

  
"My John. My brilliant wonderful John."

Sherlock grasped Johns hand and pulled him towards his bedroom, "Did Mycroft keep the flat for you?"

"He owed me a favor. He just kept paying Mrs. Hudson and she never questioned it."

"Good ole Mrs. Hudson."

Sherlock cut off John's comment with another kiss, his hands roaming all over John's chest.

"Too many clothes."

John reached out and started to work on the buttons of Sherlock’s dress shirt, "Agreed."

Sherlock moved to pressing small kisses along John's jaw allowing him time to remove his shirt.

"Beautiful." John ran his hands over the newly exposed flesh, creamy white and smooth. Sherlock let out a deep moan when John pressed down on his left nipple, bringing it to a stiff peak. He leaned down and licked just the tip, Sherlock bucked against John, moaning louder.

"John."

Sherlock dragged John's face back up, pressing a searing kiss to his lips. John sighed in contentment, allowing Sherlock access when his lounge pressed against his lip. Sherlock licked all around the inside of John’s mouth tasting his unique flavor.

When they broke apart Sherlock took the chance and pulled Johns jumper over his head exposing his chest, and seeing for the first time the scar that brought John into his life. He leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss on the center of the star burst. 

John smiled at Sherlock, "its ok."

Sherlock went back to gently placing kisses along the scar, turning John around so that he could kiss the exit wound. 

"I know how terrible this sounds, but I am grateful to that bullet."

"I know what you mean."

John brought Sherlock’s face down again to kiss him deeply, arousal pooling deep in his belly. Sherlock pulled the two of them together holding tightly, pressing their straining erections together. A deep moan was pulled from both men.

"Sherlock, I need...”

Sherlock popped open the button on John’s jeans and gently stroked against his length, sending electrical fire through Johns veins.

"God Sherlock, if you keep that up I won’t last long."

Sherlock smiled devilishly, as John reached over and popped open Sherlock’s trousers, and let them drop to the ground. Of course Sherlock wasn't wearing pants. John grasped Sherlock’s swollen prick and gave it an experimental tug. Sherlock let out a breathy moan as a drop of pre-cum beaded at the tip. 

"John, please." Sherlock breathed out, already panting.

John smiled, and pushed Sherlock back on to the bed, pulling his trousers completely off, along with his shoes and socks. 

"You are the most beautiful fucking thing I’ve ever seen."

Sherlock was vibrating his skin flushed red, the head of his prick, covered in pre-cum begging to be touched. 

"Please."

"As you wish."

John leaned down and trailed hot open mouth kisses up his long lanky legs, alternating between each leg, slowly making his way up. Sherlock was a quivering mess, desperate for release. John licked a hot stripe up the inside of Sherlock’s thigh, careful to not touch the straining erection before him. Sherlock nudged his hips up towards John silently begging. John smiled, and leaned down and took Sherlock in his hand giving a gentle stroke from base to tip, before slowly taking the head in his hot wet mouth.

Sherlock let out a deep moan from his chest, "Christ." John smiled around Sherlock’s shaft and slowly started to bob his head up and down sucking him in throat deep; he swallowed around the engorged prick, savoring the taste of his pre-cum.

"God John." 

John slowly pulled back just keeping the head in his mouth, licking at the underside of his penis, teasing the glans there. Sherlock’s hand found the back of John's head pushing him back down. 

"So close."

John hollowed his cheeks and brought his hand up to roll Sherlock’s testicals as he sucked. He felt it when Sherlock tensed, heard the warning come from Sherlock but latched on tighter until he felt thick salty ejaculate splash down his throat. He kept sucking for a moment cleaning Sherlock until he became over sensitive and John pulled off looking up at Sherlock’s lust blown eyes, his face and chest flushed.

"Jesus, John. No way are you straight."

John just chuckled, reached down and gave himself a few strokes before Sherlock pulled him up to the bed and switched places, before John had a chance to protest Sherlock took him in his mouth to the base. All John could do was sputter, and watch as his brilliant detective started to bob up and down applying the right amount of suction and teeth. 

"God Sherlock, not gonna last."

He smiled as he sucked harder nibbing at the glans on the underside of John’s penis on every upswing. John threaded his hand through his curls guiding Sherlock as his hips rose to meet every downward suck. Sherlock felt when John was tensing and sucked harder, hollowing his cheeks.

"Gonna cum." John panted out at the last second; Sherlock just took him in deeper all the way to the back of his throat and swallowed around Johns prick, setting John over the edge. Sherlock swallowed him down as the hot salty liquid hit the back of his throat. He slowly pulled off, John panting hard above him. Sherlock moved up to the bed pulling John with him to the top where he laid John on his chest and held him tight.

  
"Not a chance that you’re a virgin."

"Not a chance."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, can't write smut. But the next chapter is going to be a little on the angsty side of things!


	7. The game is on

Chapter 7: The game is on.

 

John was warm, too warm. Surly the previous night was just some sort of demented hope dream. Sherlock wasn't really back, they didn't really have sex. Or did we? John opened his eyes to find himself pressed up close to a certain consulting detective’s chest, who was fast asleep.

'Oh my god, I slept with Sherlock bloody Holmes.' began running through Johns mind over and over.

"Shut up John."

"I didn't."

"You're thinking too hard."

"You're alive."

Sherlock froze and opened his eyes to stare at John. His face showed shock and a touch of the anger he expected yesterday.

"I am sorry."

"I waited for you. I almost died for you."  

"John."

"Sherlock, I love you."

Sherlock froze. Never in a million years did he expect to hear this from his John.

"I love you John, more than my own life."

John leaned up and pressed his lips to Sherlock’s, a soft gentle kiss. After a moment Sherlock deepened the kiss, licking against Johns bottom lip. He sighed a contented sigh and let Sherlock in twining his tongue with that of his detective before allowing Sherlock complete control. When they came up for air John looked to Sherlock’s kiss swollen lips and debauched hair and started to laugh.

"What?"

"I slept with 'married to my work' Sherlock Holmes." Said John between happy laughs.

Sherlock let out a laugh of his own, "And I slept with 'not gay' John Watson."

They both dissolved into laughter, "And I am going to do it every chance that he gives me." Breathed out Sherlock, locking his lips to John's jaw leaving hot open mouthed kisses.

"Every chance I get."

They were interrupted by a knocking at the flats door.

"Go away!" Shouted Sherlock.

"Mr. Holmes and Doctor Watson, we need to speak with you about your security."

"It's Emmerson; we should at least humor him. He's a decent guy."

Sherlock sighed, detangled himself and threw on his trousers. He bent and scooped up Johns along with his shirt and threw them to the man still in bed.

Once they were properly dressed Sherlock leaned down to press another kiss softly to Johns swollen lips.

"I love you John. It was hell to be away."

John pulled the taller man to his chest, squeezing hard. "You are to never do that to me again."

"I won’t. You will know everything from now on."

A soft knock at the door, pulled them apart. "Gentlemen we need to talk to you now."

"Are you positive that he is a good man?"

"Absolutely. He kept me alive."

"Well then let’s humor him."

The two men joined Emmerson and the woman who was there the previous night. Tea awaited them at their usual chairs.

"Gentlemen this will only take a few minutes. My name is Abigail Nightly. I am stationed down in 221C and charged with monitoring the flat for you. You already know Emmerson, Doctor Watson. Mr. Holmes this is Lloyd Emmerson, he is in 221A, and will be your personal security guard. Mr. Holmes Senior is selecting two more people to join us as we speak."

Sherlock sighed out bored already. John shot him a dirty look, imploring him to behave.

"Yes Mr. Holmes I know you know all this but forgive me the formalities must be addressed." Abigail said. "Doctor Watson, I'm sorry but you have quit your job at the surgery for the moment. Your resignation was accepted with heavy heart and you are more than welcome to come back once you are ready. We also provided a qualified replacement for you."

"Thank you."

"I am sorry John, that you have to quit your job but it’s for your own safety."

"It's alright Sherlock, I will be glad to not be thrown up on, on a regular basis."

John shot Sherlock a smile, letting him know that he was really was fine with this.

"John as soon as you want to go back you can."

"Thank you Sherlock."

"Well now that that's out of the way, Mr. Holmes, Doctor Watson, you are not allowed to leave without one or both of us. If you do leave we will be forced to tranquilize you. Don’t even consider going out of any windows as we have them all under surveillance. Moran has been spotted in the area; he managed to get away from us. We’re not sure how but were working on all of the leads that we have."

"I want to see all of the surveillance." Sherlock spoke up.

Emmerson walked forward and handed Sherlock a flash drive, "We anticipated that. We've already followed how he got here; he was disguised as a homeless person. Hat and hoodie covering his face, he managed to make it to the end of Baker Street before he spotted the cameras around 221B. He turned and was picked up by a taxi. We’re tracking where the taxi took him."

"He would have switched taxis. Walked part of the way. You won’t find him that way." Sherlock replied. "No he's smart. I will give him that. Don't expect him to try to get near this place again. He's going to try his hardest to get us to leave, but he must know at this point that both John and myself are being watched and will not be allowed out, so knowing him he will want to go after our mutual contacts to draw us out. Lestrade and Molly Hooper need to be placed under more intense watch. Have Mrs. Hudson placed under watch by the Americans, surly they owe us by now."

Emmerson took notes on his phone, "Done. Your brother wants to put Miss. Hooper in protection immediately."

"Agreed. She, John, Lestrade and Mrs. Hudson were the original targets so it makes sense that the bastard is going to go after them now. What do you think John?"

"I agree too. She may not like it but I won’t have her killed because of us."

"Miss Hooper has just been contacted by our agents. We’re sending her to Mr. Holmes house to be watched after by Anthea." Abigail was just like Anthea texting away on her phone getting things done. "Your brother is on his way he wants a word with you both before he brings in D.I. Lestrade this afternoon."

"That’s fine. I need a word with him anyway." Replied John, Sherlock jerked his head towards his lover, questions flitted through his gaze.

"Don't worry I won’t punch him."

"Well that's a good thing Doctor Watson; I don't fancy having to hurt you today." Mycroft said from the doorway. John and Sherlock twisted round to see the British government standing at the top of their stairs, two more guards behind him. Both male, large and well dressed.

"Well you could try."

"I would win."

"One day Mycroft were going to have to spar so that we know."

Mycroft and the two men walked in to stand in front of the couch. "Gentlemen I want you to meet Special Agent Lewis Anderson, and Special Agent Devin Travers. They will be bodyguards for the both of you and will be stationed in 221C. Abigail will be with Emmerson in 221A. Now then Gentleman and Lady will you be so kind as to give us a bit of privacy?"

The agents nodded and walked out the door, closing it behind them. Mycroft strode over to the sofa, gracefully sinking down into the couch. "John, I believe you wanted to talk to me about something?"

"Yes. Undoubtly you already know what I want to say, but I need to say it. Mycroft, I am sorry that I attacked you, when I was not doing well. I want to thank you though for protecting me from myself. I owe you a debt."

"Thank you John. I'm sorry we didn’t tell you sooner, but Sherlock was in enough danger at the time. We needed you to keep believing that he was dead. You don't owe me a thing."

The room went silent, tension in the air.

"I want to also apologize about Moran getting as close to Baker street as he did without us capturing him. He has managed to ease himself off the radar. He has already sent two people to follow Miss Hooper and D.I. Lestrade. As you know Miss Hooper is on her way to my estate to stay with Anthea, and D.I. Lestrade is being tailed by my men on the force. He will be collected later and brought back to my estate where I would prefer you both to be. However, I am willing to respect your wishes to stay here."

"What do you think his next move will be?" John asked.

"He's going to try to lure us out or he's going to try to bribe one of our guards. I trust you checked each of your people so that they can't be bribed."

"Of course brother mine."

"Mycroft, I know you’re not going to like this idea but what about bait. Someone to lure him out?"

"No John!" Snarled Sherlock, "I just got you back and were not going to do something so stupid."

"I agree John. That would be absolute last case scenario."

"And it will never happen."

"For right now John were going to wait for him to make another mistake which he will un-doubtly make."

John sighed, leaning back into his chair. "If you say so Mycroft."

"I do. However I do want your help. I need you to make a new blog post, something that will draw in Moran, maybe go over some of your previous cases with Sherlock. We need to get Moran to comment so that we can trace a general location on him."

"Won't he use mirrors and block out his IP address?"

"We have ways of getting around that. Anyone can be traced if we want them to be."

"I'll do it today."

Sherlock stood and started to pace, "Honestly brother, you think Moran will be stupid enough to comment?"

"It's an off chance but it is a chance. In the mean time we will be looking at other leads but for now it seems that he has managed to go to ground. And to keep you from going bored in your flat and keep you from attempting to escape I’m going to allow you access to the CCTV network to keep watch Sherlock. I want you to watch out for anything that you deem suspicious."

Sherlock nodded, drinking his tea.

"Now onto slightly more pressing matters, we need to alert D.I. Lestrade to your continued survival, today."

"Naturally. We need to have a word anyway we may need him." Sherlock replied draining his tea cup.

"He's going to punch you, hard." Said John quietly.

"Well then I trust you to keep me safe. Mycroft you arrange it. Have him come over about three. John and I need some time together."

Mycroft smiled, "I am happy for the two of you. Please know that I am glad you have each other."

"Thank you brother mine."

Mycroft smiled and stood, "Well I will give you a bit of time, I will be here at 2:45 and Lestrade will be here at 3."

"Thank you Mycroft."

Sherlock stood and hugged his brother, Mycroft raised his eyebrow, "Don't get used to it brother. Just know that I deeply appreciate what you have done for me."

Mycroft nodded, turned and walked out of the room leaving Sherlock and John to spend more time together.

 

 

Lestrade

Gregory, I need you to go to Baker Street at three today. -MH

Why? I'm busy. -GL

She's married and is looking for someone to cheat on her husband with. -MH

Cockblock. -GL

Thank you. -GL

You're quite welcome. -MH

'Well fuck if it isn't one Holmes ordering me around it's the other. Though he's the only one to order me around anymore.' Lestrade thought as he made his excuses to the woman sitting across from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay another chapter! So I have the story completely planned out for now! It may change but I'm hoping to have it finished before March!


	8. Authors Note

Hello everyone, first off let me say thank you for reading so far. Unfortunately I have decided to abandon this fiction. It's not going where I want it to at the moment. I may pick it up again in the future but right now I will not be finishing it.


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